Ep 6. Part 2: Was my husband gay? (with Aleenah)

This episode is the final part of two episodes that explores an asexual marriage.  We hear a brutally honest account of Aleena’s short-lived marriage.

Listen to episode 5 for part 1.

WARNING: this is an explicit episode with adult themes and language. Please put your earphones on and listen to this in private.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on these podcasts are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Not Another Mum Pod’s management or of any sponsors. Any content provided by our contributors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, identity (gender or sexual) club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.

Powered by RedCircle

Shownotes below


Download

[podcast_subscribe id=”1647″][sharethis-inline-buttons]

The intention behind this candid conversation is to bring to light the serious issues that can happen in a marriage, that nobody openly talks about. We hear a brutally honest account of Aleena’s short-lived marriage.

This episode is the second of two episodes that explores an asexual marriage.

WARNING: this is an explicit episode with adult themes and language. Please put your earphones on and listen to this in private.

Tasneem:

For the sake of anonymity and to avoid unintended slander, no real names or locations have been mentioned. Our guest Aleenah’s name is also an alias. Please note, we’ve kept this conversation as authentic as possible.

Any comments directed at Aleena’s husband is not in reference to his sexuality; rather we are commenting on his behaviour as a husband.

This is not a discussion about the rights and wrongs of same sex attraction in Islam – rather it is focussed on the manipulative behaviour of someone we believe who has not come out of the closet, who wilfully misled his wife into marrying him only to then bodyshame her and make her feel inadequate, rather than owning his sexuality and being honest.

Nafisa:

Tasneem, you were a witness to the trial she had. Aleena is a childhood friend of yours and you were there for her from the beginning, albeit, even you couldn’t guess the enormity of what was happening to her. Can you give us a short recap of what has happened so far.

Tasneem:

So in part 1, we cover how Aleena got married, what her relationship was like before she met him and how it changed on the day of her wedding. He didn’t initiate any intimacy for months before finally caving due to fear of being exposed. He used his depression and anxiety to control Aleena as well as well as constantly berating her for her appearance as a way of getting out of having sex. One of the things that wasn’t really explained in much detail, was how different he was when he was courting her for one year before marriage, always telling her how beautiful she was, how gorgeous she looked etc. He was lovely, kind and very loving. After he married her and the mask came off, he changed everytime he felt threatened or pressured to have marital intimacy. We are at the point where he finally had sex for the first time.

Nafisa:

Aleena’s story does highlight the importance of researching prospective candidates as much as possible and it’s important as parents not to put undue pressure on our children to get married because of age, hence rushing things or compromising too much especially when it comes to basic Islamic principles. 

Tasneem:

If you’ve got children around you, this might be the time to put your earphones on.

Some organisations that can help with  sex and sexuality are:

https://www.mwnhelpline.co.uk/

http://www.mwnuk.co.uk/Helpline_181_c.php

http://www.barefootinstitute.com/

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on these podcasts are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Not Another Mum Pod’s management or of any sponsors. Any content provided by our contributors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, identity (gender or sexual) club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.