15. The untold story of the first wife (with Sarah)

TRIGGER WARNING: Accounts of torture, violence and black magic

When revert sister Sarah realises her husband is interested in taking a second wife, she tries to be a supportive partner. But not all that glitters is always gold, and as the secrets and deceit begin to pile up, it’s Sarah and her children who end up paying the price.

Join us on a harrowing journey through Europe and North Africa as Sarah fights for survival and tries to break free from a situation that has spiralled out of control.

 

This is the second part of two episodes covering stories of polygamy in Islam, hearing directly from the wives in question. Note, the first half of the story is related to Sarah’s polygamous experience. The latter half is other themes described in the trigger warning. Listener discretion is advised.

 

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on these podcasts are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Not Another Mum Pod’s management or of any sponsors. Any content provided by our contributors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, identity (gender or sexual) club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.

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Not Another Mum Pod is now under the Muslim Mamas umbrella.

Intro

 

Nafisa:

Salaams and welcome to another episode of Not Another Mum Pod! So today we continue the theme of polygamy, a super hot topic in our community so will try to be as sensitive as we can. This particular episode is pretty triggering so do be mindful.

 

Tasneem:

Naf, last week we spoke to Layla who was the second wife in a marriage and she spoke at length about how she made it work – albeit not without controversy. Without giving anything away or any spoilers, what did you think of Layla’s story?

 

Nafisa:

I have to say, if I’m honest and especially once I’ve had some time to digest, I think there are a lot of unspoken challenges and they haven’t been addressed

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Ep 12. Child Bride: A Story of Survival & Self-Discovery (With Samra Zafar)

“People have this idea that child marriage is like a child being taken, kicking and screaming into a room and being chained or roped up or tied up, and then forced to sign somewhere. Force is not a gun to your head or a knife to your throat.

Force is coercion. Force is pressure. Force is that invisible, intangible cycle that is created around you, that if you say no, you’re damned, and if you say yes, you’re damned.” 

 

How many of us know or have heard about someone who has suffered from domestic abuse? How many of us know or have heard of someone who has been pressured or coerced into a marriage? This episode delves right into a harrowing story of how Samra Zafar was pressured into a marriage at a young age only to be stifled into an existence of abuse from her parents to husband and mother-in-law. From emotional abuse to spiritual, from verbal to physical, from sexual to financial abuse – there was no stone unturned.

 

Samra rose from the ashes by finding the courage to learn what was happening to her. Armed with knowledge, she began to plan her escape. Samra Zafar is now an award-winning international speaker, author, scholar, and entrepreneur who advocates for equity, inclusion, and human rights.

 

This podcast is campaigning against domestic abuse with: gov.uk/domestic-abuse, supporting the ‘Ask for ANI’ scheme, which allows those at risk or suffering from abuse to discreetly signal that they need help and access support. 

 

WARNING: this is an explicit episode with adult themes and language. Please put your earphones on and listen to this in private. By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as a medical or mental health advice to treat yourself or others, please consult your own physician for any diagnosis.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on these podcasts are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Not Another Mum Pod’s management or of any sponsors. Any content provided by our contributors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, identity (gender or sexual) club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.

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Ep 10. Halal ‘dating’ in the pandemic (with Merium Bhuiyan)

Finding The One is hard enough – but throw a pandemic into the mix and it’s almost impossible… or is it? Join us in this candid conversation about halal dating in the COVID-19 era with Merium Bhuiyan, CEO and Founder of CakeFace Makeup. Find out what it’s truly like to ‘halal date’ in the midst of a global pandemic; how prospective husbands slide into her DMs, and what happens when a right swipe doesn’t quite go according to plan.

 

WARNING: this is an explicit episode with adult themes and language. Please put your earphones on and listen to this in private. 

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Merium Bhuiyan is the founder and CEO of CakeFace Makeup, a makeup services company that champions confidence building through workshops and events sharing expertise. http://cakeface-makeup.com/

 

Merium holds a Masters in Education and is interested in inclusion and social mobility. She advises on several boards and committees in the community and utilises her roles as Vice Chair of her local faiths forum and Trustee of her local community centre to speak publicly on a variety of issues, including hate crime and youth violence. In her spare time Merium is involved with her local theatre and contributes to a variety of creative arts projects. Merium’s skills include consulting, leading and directing on a variety of enterprises including festivals, charities and youth projects, and aims to complete a PhD and advise on education at governmental level in the future.

 

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on these podcasts are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Not Another Mum Pod’s management or of any sponsors. Any content provided by our contributors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, identity (gender or sexual) club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.

Introduction

What do we mean by ‘halal’ dating? How do you keep it ‘halal’ when meeting strangers and then getting to know them? What makes people turn to alternative ways to find the one?

Tasneem:  Salaams and welcome

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Ep 9. Part 2: The ultimate betrayal: abused by a spiritual figure (with Uzma & Ramzia)

This episode is the SECOND part of two episodes that uncovers Uzma’s story of how she was abused by a renowned spiritual leader. With the help of a trained counsellor Ramzia Akbari, specialising in sexual abuse and cults, we discover how the trauma of what happened to Uzma in childhood, reared its ugly head in adulthood at a time when she should have been the happiest. Ramzia offers valuable advice about grooming and influence as well as techniques on how to recognise and combat these forms of abuse. Ramzia is a senior counsellor qualified in Therapeutic counselling and works with a faith and culturally sensitive, Islamic counselling model. This topic is triggering.

 

WARNING: this is an explicit episode with adult themes and language. Please put your earphones on and listen to this in private. By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as a medical or mental health advice to treat yourself or others, please consult your own physician for any diagnosis.

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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on these podcasts are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Not Another Mum Pod’s management or of any sponsors. Any content provided by our contributors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, identity (gender or sexual) club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.

 

The intention behind this candid conversation is to bring to light the serious issues that nobody openly talks about. The question to ask ourselves is what exactly is sexual and spiritual abuse?

 

For the sake of anonymity and to avoid unintended slander, no names or locations have been mentioned. Our guest’s name is also an alias. Please note, we’ve kept this conversation as authentic as possible.

 

There’ve been a lot of cases where members of our community have been affected by abuse, we will cover various aspects of this with expert commentators over several episodes.

 

Unfortunately, Tasneem will not be able to join us for this session. Instead, we

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Ep 8. Part 1: The ultimate betrayal: abused by a spiritual figure (with Uzma & Ramzia)

This episode is the first of two episodes that uncovers Uzma’s story of how she was abused by a renowned spiritual leader. With the help of a trained counsellor Ramzia Akbari, specialising in sexual abuse and cults, we’ll explore how we can protect our loved ones from this happening to them, and experience a live ‘counselling’ session where we unpack the trauma that happened to Uzma. Ramzia is a senior counsellor qualified in Therapeutic counselling and works with a faith and culturally sensitive, Islamic counselling model. This topic is triggering.

 

WARNING: this is an explicit episode with adult themes and language. Please put your earphones on and listen to this in private. By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as a medical or mental health advice to treat yourself or others, please consult your own physician for any diagnosis.

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Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on these podcasts are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Not Another Mum Pod’s management or of any sponsors. Any content provided by our contributors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, identity (gender or sexual) club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.

 

The intention behind this candid conversation is to bring to light the serious issues that nobody openly talks about. The question to ask ourselves is what exactly is sexual and spiritual abuse?

 

For the sake of anonymity and to avoid unintended slander, no names or locations have been mentioned. Our guest’s name is also an alias. Please note, we’ve kept this conversation as authentic as possible.

 

There’ve been a lot of cases where members of our community have been affected by abuse, we will cover various aspects of this with expert commentators over several episodes.

 

Unfortunately, Tasneem will not be able to join us for this session. Instead, we will have an expert guest Ramzia Akbari, and an anonymous sister ‘Uzma’ who shares her harrowing story.

 

Ramzia Akbari is a senior

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